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We have all been there. We have something to say. We know that delivering the message will be of value to the client and to the professional. BUT something holds us back. We end up sugar coating feedback, which leads to miscommunication and the right actions not being taken

Why do we sugar-coat feedback? 

1. Fear 

If we think about who is often delivering the message, and to whom, we can see that a reason is likely to be fear. There is an imbalance of power here. You may be in a situation where a business development expert is needing to deliver a message to a partner. Even if you have a culture where marketing and business development teams are respected, and this is not always the norm, the partners are the owners of the business. They are ultimately employing them. 

2. Lack of incentives

When we think about the action needed to respond to constructive criticism, the impact is often felt as personal loss, even if the firm ultimately benefits. 

Let’s take the most extreme example, where a client says that they are happy with the firm, but they do not like one of the individuals working on the account. Now, there are, of course, conversations to be had here around why they don’t like this individual, resourcing, not bowing to the pressures of individual clients…BUT… assuming that reasons are well founded and the issue with the individual is not one that is easily resolved, what personal incentive does this individual professional have to remove themselves? They may lose face with colleagues, their pride will be hit, they may be financially penalised because their billable hours are reduced. Arguments around the good of the firm are likely to fall on deaf ears.

Now, this is an extreme example, but we can make the same argument for almost all types of feedback that identifies a development point. There is often little or no reward for the individual to act on the feedback, even if the firm ultimately gains; incentives work on a personal level. 

3. Lack of support from the top

This, perhaps, is key. If we don’t have support from the top, then fear and lack of incentives are more pronounced. Furthermore, support from the top is needed to resolve both of these things. Most firms would say that there is support from the top. Isn’t every professional services firm top priority to keep existing clients happy? This priority needs support from the top and this support needs to be visible. 

What’s the solution?

Giving feedback is hard. Even if you are supported from the top, even if you know that the person you are talking to might be receptive, it is still hard.

There are ways to get people more comfortable with giving and receiving feedback and creating a culture where it is easier to have those challenging conversations.

As with so many things, the best place to start is by having the right conversations internally. Talk about the problems that surround giving negative feedback. Get partners to reflect on the feedback in the abstract. Invite them to notice how they react to feedback and to think about how that might impact on the person delivering the message.

Coaching can be an asset. Coaching works not only for the individual who needs to give feedback, helping them to overcome any concerns that they might have, but also for the individual who is receiving the feedback. Whilst we haven’t delved into mindsets here, people with a growth mindset are more likely to be open to feedback, rather than those with fixed mindsets, who might become defensive or dispirited. Coaching can help overcome some of the limiting beliefs getting in the way. 

This article is an abridged version on an article that appears on Client Talk’s blog. To read the full article click here.